It all comes out in the wash

Just like leaving pieces of paper in your pocket and putting the pants in the washing machine, you end up with a big ol mess.

What am I talking about you ask? Well, misrepresentation is what. Why would you purposely misrepresent something? Take for instance, oh just off the top of my head, a motorcycle on ebay. It was delivered today and, man that picture must have been the Kawasaki's Glamour shot cuz in person, she wasn't pretty. A big dent in the tank, no working electric, speedo held on with zip ties, oil everywhere, cut seat, not the ready-to-ride machine advertised. Did he think I would see it, swoon and want it anyway? "Oh Kawasaki, I luvs you just the way you are." He did explain that big ass dents just happen when you trail ride em. Ok, fair enough. I guess front ends of cars can get smashed from driving on the street as well, but if I'm selling a smashed car, I'm gonna mention it's been smashed. Or I could just take a picture of the non-smashed side, list it and never say a word about it. Either or. I mean a big ass dent in the tank – with rust – it's worth noting even if it's, uh hem, "normal wear an tear." Sheesh.

This is the second one in a week too. Turpin and I went and looked at a Honda last week that "all it needed was points set to get runnin." Funny how that list grew by about 20 items by the time we arrived. Be honest and stop wating everyones time people. If youre not upfront about the obvious problems, I am not gonna buy whatever youre selling because I will assume there are 10 more things wrong that are not apparent that I wont find until next week, or next month, broken down in BFE.

So Kawasaki man did what any red-blooded 'merican would do in his circumstance and blammed his Dad who listed it for him. I would be more than willing to hang Grandpa out to dry too, but, I spoke to the guy 3 times on the phone after the aution ended and he never said "before I bring it over, ya might wanna know..." When we took it down off the truck, he did come clean that it prolly wasn't properly represented in the auction description. I think the other 46 bidders would agree.

Which brings me to my next question, which is how the bike came to arrive in its craptacular condition in the first place; why do so many people take Enduro and Dual Sport bikes, strip the electric to make em trail bikes? They make bikes that are already stripped down, that cost less and perform better, just for trail riding. It would be like me putting big knobbies on the Subaru and cutting the top off and calling it a truck when I could have just, oh I don't know, bought a truck. But hey, then I wouldn't have a heavy, underperforming retard-o-car worth 1/2 of what it once was.

So he's gonna take it and get it fixed to reflect how it was listed and I may or may not still buy it. In the meantime, the search continues. Oh, by the way, I have a Klein road frame for sale. I'll take a picture from it's good side later.

Hello?

I got a call the other day, here is the transcript.

me "Hello?"

caller "Hi, you know who it is."

m "H.G. Prices? Is that you?"

hgp "Yeah"

m "So you know what i just did, dont you?"

hgp "Yeah, thats why I have a friend on the line, it's a conference call."

G. Reaper "You may have beat H.G. Prices, but in doing so, you've brought us closer together."

m "Whatever Grim. You just wish you'd be scorin all the ladies on a green Kawasaki like me."



I really don't care about the gas, I'm just tryin to keep up with Turpin. Now i just need a wife and dog, you can't make me move to Lexington though...

Despite appearances...

...I am not making fun of Joe's fanny pack. Though had I noticed it, it would have been my moral obligation to do so.

Stump Jump 08

First off, what is it with oddball conventions and mtb races happening in the same towns? There has been the Ladies of the Southern Baptists, Quilters, Organic farming and rabbits, and most recently RC modelers (of course it just couldnt be a underwear modelers). So anywho, It was almost a whole new ballgame this year; new course and (gasp) no rain, but the constant being my outcome of suck.

The new course was a blast to ride. As Rusty said, a perfect mtn bikers course. Windy and warm, everything was good, well, almost everything. I didn't really warm up very well and even though I easily took the holeshot at the begining, I had to drop back to about 8th to recover from the effort. As the lap wore on, I started to feel better and bring back a few spots. I forgot my GU2O and borrowed some HEED from Nick which should be called HEAVE since it seems to induce many tiny barfs. So after getting used to this happening, going into lap 2, I grabbed another spot to move up to 3rd and was feeling pretty good. Then, at the end of the lap, my pedal snapped off. I went back to the car to replace it, but in doing so was going to be relegated to last by the official. I blasted out one more lap and decided suffering through a 4th lap was pointless so I hung it up. Nuts.

Some money and a result would have been nice, but we had fun and I at least got some riding/training in before disaster hit. Oh well, plenty more races to come in the season. Which reminds me, where is the "Smokin hot chicks and Micro-brew convention" this year?

Colon Blow

Just incase you ever wanted a squeaky clean colon, a big bowl of these for breakfast will do the trick.



I can't decide if something that cleans you out this mightily is good for you or not, but at least you can make your co-workers suffer. And at the end of the day, thats all that matters.

Speaking of smelly crap, Hilary is only 2 blocks from me right now. I bet she likes Oat Squares because I like Oat Squares.