This just in!

This just (literally) came across my desk... white chocolate. And I am here to tell you, it's the Devil's candy. Why is it Satan's own confection you ask? Much like Lucifer himself, it's masked as something good (ie giving yourself the name "chocolate") but inside it is pure, disgusting evil.

In fact, white chocolate is a disgrace to the word "chocolate." What Tom Cruise is to acting, white is to chocolate - an embarrassment.



The shape just makes your evil even more obvious.

***Alright, I just realized a huge error in my little "white ain't right" rant, when accompanied by his friends the macadamia nut and cookie, white is, well, OK. I still think brown would be better though...

Oh, new bike, thats me!

They say the best time to invest is when the market is down, so I have put all my money into Chinese Aluminum and will be selling off my American Carbon holdings. While the AC holdings were nice, I think the CA will be a better fit for my portfolio.

Thanks to Eric Pirtle and Bob Peters, the Ateam investment advisory board.



It's giving you that "oh, hello there" look.

New Bike?

who has one?

An Ateam Medical Minute

Welcome to a new feature here on the Clarksville Ateam blog were we spend a few minutes discussing (ie, me telling you and deleting your comments) medical concerns of the day. Todays topic is that of migraine headaches.

After much research (talkin to Garth on the phone), we have concluded chicks mainly get migraines. So to avoid this medical calamity, don't be a girl. If you're a dude and you get migraines, what's the matter with you? Haven't you heard migraines are a chick problem? Geez, toughen up nancyboy.

Next medical minute, I will solve the mystery of the common cold and the single simple step you can take to avoid it forever. Tune in to find out how!

Bored?

click on the title or go to this link and check out this game http://www.atom.com/spotlights/kung_fu_election/

2008 Wrap up

My neurosurgeon told me Friday, no riding for another 6 weeks. In fact, no lifting weights, hiking, running or caber tossing of any sort. The hopes of making a late season CX or Scottish Games appearance is pretty much out of the question. Good thing I'm mostly Polish and haven't ever tossed a caber, (be nice to have the option though), but it sucks about the CX racing.

Anyway, I begged, pleaded and promised to take his wife out for a nice meal at White Castle and he said I could ride outside in 2 weeks if I promised to take it easy, not ride off-road, let his wife get the cheese fries, and in general be VERY VERY careful (with bike riding that is, though one should take caution at the WC lounge as well), but preferred I wait 6 weeks to do any out of doors riding/activity. Nuts to all that.

So...

that pretty much wraps up 2008.

It's not who's fattest

...it's who stuffs the ballot box. So bow before the King of the fatties and thank the good Lord Mo doesn't have to hunt you down and kick your butt.

I mean, if I can't win bike races right now, I gotta get ego boosts from winning something. So take that housewives and invalids, Me an my cat beat you!

Cats don't travel well

You don't get to be a 25lb beast by gettin out much. Also, historically, cats are not the most social of animals. What am I talking about? A recipe for disaster is what. Lets take 6 cats from 6 different houses, put them in a car then stick em all together in a tv studio. Sound like a solid plan? I don't think so either.

I mean, Mo isn't a violent man, just a man who isn't afraid to mix it up if the situation warrants it (like when a possum wonders onto your porch or your sister is sittin on the best part of the bed). And I have a feeling being in a strange place with a myriad of odd humans, bright lights and 5 big ol fat strange cats might just get a fully clawed furry man fightin mad. But, I would bet Mo shredding 5 other cats, Dawn G's face then finally posting up on a camera man's head would be the best thing to happen to Wave 3 Listen Live's ratings ever. I would watch that.

So, tune in Wednesday at 10am for the day that will forever be known around Wave 3 as "what on earth were we thinking?", something about on par with Less Nessman throwing turkeys out of a helicopter, just more fur than feathers but hopefully equivalent bloodshed.

Last lap, he's gearin down for the sprint

Mo is in the lead, workin hard, the line is in sight. I'm heading to feeders supply for some after-party treats.

It's crunch time

Otter is comin down to the wire, gonna be a back breaker (so to speak) but things are lookin good!

And don't forget, go to
http://wave3nation.wave3.com/vmix_hosted_apps/p/media?id=2112131
Watch it, refresh it over n over (views count), vote if you haven't yet - don't crush this poor cat's dreams of being King Fattie!

Besides, if he loses, he said he will trash this city Godzilla style.



Millie is watchin you vote Mo. She will take you down like that little white mouse if she doesn't get that years supply of Science Diet.

Ateam updater 2.3.1

This is the automated Ateam update for Tuesday, September 16, 2008. Aint nuthin happening.

Well, next to nothing. Good ol T6 the Vertebrate, still broken. Hopped on the rollers a couple times last week, prolly do it again tonight. Overslept my 6am MRI appointment, (I mean really, 6 freakin AM???), whoops. But I feel like it's slowly improving. That or it's healing all wrong and I'll have a hump like a ski mogul when I'm 50.

And what you really wanna know, Otter Madness is happening come h-e double hockey sticks or high water. Worst case scenario we have no power at the pavilion and have a shorter course. We'll deal with it, it's mountain biking after all. As they say, HTFU.

Oh yeah, if youre on a Mac and not on the latest OS, don't install itunes 8.0. It would be nice if the software updater recognized that you don't have the necessary software to run 8.0 BEFORE they overwrite your current version of 7.whatever, but it doesn't, so there you go.

CX Maiden Voyage XC

I took, what Anthony has called my Fred Sanford, cyclo-cross bike out for it's first taste of off-roading. As you can see, it is kind of junky. At least it was the junkiest cross bike out there tonight. We had a cross practice of sorts at veterans park. No, we didn't get to enjoy the two miles of sweet single-track out there. Yes, we did ride in very bumpy and rocky mowed fields. When we first took off my bike made a very loud metal breaking type noise which sounded detrimental but after looking it over I couldn't see anything wrong, I thought maybe a spoke had broken but not. So, facing the possibility of a stem, or handlebars snapping I decided to keep on going.




So about the bike, yes, it is almost as heavy as a surly cross-check.
Yes, that is a stem adapter that allows me to lengthen a short steerer tube.
Yes, that is butt sweat on the seat.
No, there isn't a front deraileur cable hooked up.
Yes, those cranks did come off of a 1980s low-end schwinn 10-speed.
No, I didn't leave handle bar tape off the drops just to be cool. I used all the spare tape I had laying around. Now, I'm thinking I need to go get another 2 rolls and tape the hell out of the bars.

That course was so rough I couldn't hang on to my bars. I didn't want to drop my tire pressure anymore because I was afraid of pinch flatting. Next week I'm taking the scalpel out there, I really don't see any advantages of running a cx bike over a mtb on the practice course (which may be the race course, I don't know). There weren't any paved sections and my mtb and cx bike weigh just about the same. Well, I gotta go soak my hands in some epsome salt now. Talk to you later.

-R

Part 2

Thanks for all the kind words, calls and emails. It is t-6 and they do expect an uneventful (good) recovery, but in the meantime, man it hurts.

Here is how it went down:
Sunday morning I'm waiting for Sarah to finish getting ready and I decided to run and pick up some groceries in the meantime (I am just so efficient). I wasn't in the store more than 2 minutes when I started feeling faint, flashing in and out of consciousness. I suspected it might be the onset of a seizure, but since I hadn't really engaged in any seizure-inducing behavior, I wrote it off to a blood sugar issue. I continued to try to shop but couldn't think or see straight. The last thing I remember was thinking "I need toothpaste" and heading in that direction. The next thing after that, I was coming to in the mens room, then surrounded by paramedics just outside of. The pharmacist said later it was one of the worst seizures he has ever seen. I don't imagine my writhing around in the broken jars of pasta sauce helped the scene much, I was covered head to toe in marinera and cuts from the jars.

So, it took a while to regain my memory; Sarah was surprised when I called her back (as she was wondering where I was) asking who she was and how long I knew her. Not much in this world scarier than not knowing who you are or what's happening to you. But, all things considered, things have turned out OK. Looking at the cuts on my neck from the sauce, I was fortunate not to open up the jugular.

Well, I have some more doctors to see and can't drive for 3 months, (gas is expensive anyway), who knows, maybe I'll even return to work soon. Nah, thats crazy talk.

Brokeback Mountain Biker

Yesterday i broke my vertebrae, number 6 to be exact. I've never been in so much pain. The season, is finished. They say 6 weeks to heal, no surgery will be needed. Pray for me. Thats all.

Before there were good trails and mountain biking was fun...

...there was Ceasar's Creek. Lets just say, comparing Ohio trails to Ohio trails, Mohican's the Brown Gargantua, CC would be the Green one that just wants to eat people. Plenty of mileage and ups n downs, but no flow, tons of ruts and even stinky, sloppy mud despite being bone dry mid-August. And I hate to loose to that troglodyte from Cleveland (I believe the official tally when we've squared off, year to date, is him; 2 wins, me; 25,000), but man I hate CC even more and was willing to roll over on this one. I just did it for the Benjamins.

I felt tired and had zero motivation to race knowing there was no redeeming quality to the next 2+ hours other than it would end, so I wanted to dictate the pace from the gun. I took the hole shot only to get passed when I slipped in some deep and funky smelling mud a couple miles in. Brad Wilhelm came shootin by and proceeded to light it up like it was a race or sumpin. Oh yeah, I guess it was, but thats not the point. The point is he was goin harder than I wanted to. Did I also mention it was hot? Center of the sun hot? Welp, it was. After hanging on Brad's wheel for a bit, I pulled aside and let Jean Shorts and Ben go around cuz I had no desire to try to keep that high a pace.

So, within a couple miles Brad had already blown it all out and I rolled by him. A lap later we rolled by Nano who had taken a wrong turn (despite only having to follow us. I love the Beaner) and was now hanging out trail side but jumped in for the rest of the ride.

Next (last) lap, I was considering the big ol DNF, cursing my current 3rd place hoping a buncha people would pass so I could be all "well, i'm out of the money, might as well put my butt on ice" but then the opposite happens and I catch Ben, (who was suffering a case of vacation legs) and I passed him to move into second. I had to finish now.

Jean Shorts was still impressing himself wayyyy off the front while I set back and rolled at a comfortable pace for second place. I'll make another trip to Ohio to make things right, just not to Ceasars.

Vote Mo in 08

McCain? Obama? Who cares, vote Mo in '08 and know your vote will count. I got a giant animal to feed, help a brother win some support via the wave3 fat cat contest. You'll be invited to the after-party, milk and catnip will be provided.
http://wave3nation.wave3.com/vmix_hosted_apps/p/media?id=2112131&item_index=1&all=1&sort=NULL

or click the title

Brand new!

The all new Camelbak Hamster Bottle® System



This is just a prototype, but look for the product launch at the Louisville USGP.

Dust, sweat and pointy insects

I'm glad the weekend is over. I mean, wow, if it coulda happened, it was happenin last weekend. Not that it was a bad weekend, but it will be nice to sit here and get some down time. I mean, I'm not comin in here 40 hours a week to work, its recovery time.

So after not touchin the bike on vacation, the legs have been a bit slow to come around this week, I wasn't sure how Sunday was gonna work out. The weather was awesome though. Waverly can be like a broiler when it gets hot, so the relief in temps was especially welcome.

Rustys start line design, well, it looked like he was chasin his dog Hank around with some yellow tape attached to his butt, it ensured there was plenty of bumbin and bar rubbin. Despite that, I managed to get into the woods first. However, not 20 yards in, some bug with a pointy butt flew into my helmet and commenced to the stinging. I think at some point the little jerk was using my helmet to leverage himself to try to crack my skull with his stinger, man it hurt. I tried pokin it with my fingers through the vents, but he was crafty and was avoidin the poke every time like the hillbilly fleas livin on the dog on the old Warner Bros cartoons. I had to pop the helmet off (while trying to maintain pace) smoosh him and throw the lid back on. It felt like I had a hot match on my head the rest of the ride. But luckily it didnt swell up to twice it's normal size, otherwise people may have thought I was Mayor Jerry.

So while all this was goin on, Ben and I (surprise) separated ourselves from the pack. I wasn't feelin it. I just couldn't get the engines to really fire. I tried to attack a couple times, but just couldnt keep a high pace after the attack. Well, until lap 3. The legs didn't feel super strong, but I was giving all I had up Montanas and only getting a slight gap on Ben. As I was nearing the top, I saw RJ run down to meet Ben with a bottle. I happened to look back just as he was giving him a push up to the top and I got pissed. Not that I have never been pushed, or resented Ben for it, but man, if he was getting help up that hill while I was suffering alone, I was determined to make the rest of the race miserable for us both.

I dug deep on the next little up to Big Ring Ridge and then wound the 44x11 out. The next lap and some change went pretty much the same – paranoid Ben was catchin back on while I tried to keep the pace up. Some cramps set in the last time up to Big Ring, but I knew the worst of it was behind me from that point on and all I had to do was keep it upright and I managed to do just that. Good to keep the streak alive and arrive at the line un-bloodied for a change. Also, i would be remiss if I didn't throw out a special thanks to Sarah for handing up my bottles, (while snapping pics no less), like a champ and generally taking everything in stride. Youre the best.

So ending the day in a Beer and Benadryl induced stooper (note, many savings on beer can be had with the addition of just one of these little tablets. You may not be able to move, open your eyes or close your mouth after the second frosty one, but hey, you cant argue with the savings), it's nice to get back in the office for some shut-eye. Just wake me up when it's time to go-go.

KY mtbing's bad boy

I just checked out the point series updates. Looks about right. I was bound to get disqualified. I just can't handle rules. My momma raised a mad man. You ain't man enough to open this cage. Click on the title of this entry and you'll see.

WoW

Rowbears recap, it was like he had a camera on my shoulder. 'Cept I crashed on the first lap. And I was thinkin about my phone charger on lap 3.

Rode yesterday for the first time since the race. Its amazing what a week of beer, wine and fried fish will do for your form. Watch out Waverly!

And on that note, a vacation recap; best one ever. Pics to come for all you facebook losers.